It Lasted A Year
💝 Happy Anniversary 💍 Friends Who Propose 💌 I love y...
Hey Diary Reader,
I did it!
I successfully reached the one-year relationship mark.
I know what you’re thinking. Isn’t this the girl who’s made a career out of singlehood? Have her tales of cancelled first dates, intergalactic gifts, and kissing preferences been an editorial ruse?
Fret not, it’s all been honest. Over the past year, I’ve shared a very real collection of stories from the dating frontlines while simultaneously being in a committed relationship...
Around Valentine’s Day last year, a friend propositioned me. First, he asked if I wanted to holiday in the South of France (the answer was obviously yes). Then he suggested that we launch a Substack together. My stories, his editing prowess, our first baby together. It was a hard yes. We traded drafts, stayed up late editing, and even joked about getting matching tattoos (he was never onboard with that idea).
And then I fell in love.
Stories of men who are not worth loving.
With you.
(Not with him. I already love him, platonically.)
I fell in love with showing up for you every week. With turning my heartbreaks and heart flutters into 500 words. With sharing the ridiculousness of modern dating. Sure, there were weeks when neither my love life nor my pen nib had much life left in them, but I kept writing. For you.
And now here we are. Fifty-two weeks later and I can officially celebrate being in a year-long committed relationship.
I’ve heard that those other, long-term relationship type people tend to celebrate anniversaries with hotel getaways and sexy lingerie but I’d rather expose myself to you in a different way…
Here are the ten things a year of dating (and writing about it) has taught me:
There’s a world of difference between being meekly asked “Can we kiss?” and being looked dead in the eyes and told “I want to kiss you”.
Believe in the flirtatious power of sticky eyes. It works like catnip.
Going to a dating event with 100+ people is far less emotionally draining than sitting on the sofa swiping on 100.
Never trust a man who drinks mezcal margaritas and promises shopping trips to Ikea. He will ghost.
Losing your mojo is inevitable. But if Austin Powers can get it back, so can you.
Get into erotica. It’s a chance to dabble in kink before committing to someone dangling their bits in front of you.
Introduce a $100 penalty fee for dates cancelled with less than 24 hours’ notice. Restaurants do it. Hairdressers do it. Singles should too.
Don’t worry about broadcasting your adventures on social media. If someone can’t handle you pixelated, they definitely can’t handle you in 3D.
Stop yourself from texting your ex by sending a blocker message in your WhatsApp thread: DON’T YOU DARE TEXT. You are either drunk, horny, lonely, or all of the above. STEP AWAY FROM THE PHONE. GO TEXT SOMEONE ELSE.
Love can be rubbish, so you might as well write about it.
Thanks for reading. I love you… being here.
With love & other rubbish,
Candice
…and other rubbish
He gave her a standing ovation
Step 4 of dating is simple
Ladies, this is how you get him pregnant
He’s never too busy, even in the gym
Every orgy needs good snacks
She said, he said
“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”
Henry Youngman
If you like me back, can you hit the heart button below?
Ok so you’re not single after all? I’m really happy for you, but then all the dating feels like it’s been purely for content generation, which doesn’t quite sit right. The last year or so’s journey felt relatable to me as you gave the impression you were in the trenches too. Maybe I’m the only one feeling this way though. I truly do wish you all the best :-)