Kinky Reading
🩲 Removing Knickers 🪭 Fan Fiction 😈 Kinky Reads
Hey Smut Seeker,
Last weekend, while I was bundled up in full winter gear on the slow train to Norfolk, a man told his date to go to the bathroom, take off her knickers and put them in his pocket.
Not something I expected to encounter before 11am.
Welcome to my new favourite hobby: reading kinky erotica.
Like every self-respecting woman in 2011, I read Fifty Shades of Grey. Sure, the content was titillating but it also did something important. It gave curiosity-closeted people permission to think, talk, and experiment. For many of us, it was an articulation of desires we hadn’t yet learned how to name.
And recently, I’ve re-entered the erotic fray right here on Substack. From Laura Roscioli using her fingers “slowly, with control and purpose” to The Feminine Editorial becoming “Wet. Satisfied. Completely undone.” I find myself navigating tube stations with my eyes transfixed to the stories on my phone.
Unlike porn, where you have to sift through aggression, degradation, and a distaste for pubic hair, erotica makes fantasy feel accessible. There’s a simplicity to it. The essays aren’t complicated. There’s no “plumber” fixing the lonely housewife’s “blocked pipes” (although I do love a backstory). It’s first-person, intimate, and leaves just enough unsaid for your imagination to take over.
Yet another place where women are better than men: in the DMs.
Even if words don’t get you worked up, don’t underestimate the influence of outside inspiration. Desire rarely appears fully formed. Our real-world sexploits are often shaped by things we’ve seen, read, overheard, or quietly Googled on a private browser.
Take my friends Molly and Dan, for example. Both on their second marriage, well established in their careers, and enthusiastic sexual adventurers. When they opened up about their open marriage, I went straight in with the questions.
How do they recruit guest lovers? The members’ club bar.
How do they hear about the next sex party? A WhatsApp group.
How does Molly protect her high-flying job when there are spread-eagle photos of her floating around the internet? An unwritten honour code.
What fascinated me wasn’t the wildness, but the logistics. Having friends who talk openly about the practical ins and outs made it feel less taboo and more doable.
To some, the solution to a kinky inkling might be obvious. Download the app. FetLife for BDSM. Kinkoo for fetish-specific interests (hello feet). Feeld for the all-around curious. But it’s a surprisingly big leap from idly wondering what something is like to meeting someone to do it with. That’s why I like starting with erotica and honest conversations. It’s a chance to dabble before committing to someone dangling their bits in front of you.
And tonight I am dabbling.
I’m going to an event organised by Feeld. It’s apparently set to be a “calm, welcoming space where things unfold naturally.” Although it is being hosted in a five-star hotel, I’m expecting to stay fully clothed. Let’s take this one step at a time.
Of course, I’ll spend my commute there swotting up on whatever smut the Substack algorithm will serve me. Consider it research.
All’s fair in love and fiction.
With love & other rubbish,
Candice
…and other rubbish
Pick your cucumber wisely
Their crotches led to an 18-month suspension
When voice notes are your love language
Erotic services are the economic policy
Every man needs words of affirmation
She said, he said
“Mine," he whispers. "Yours," I breathe.”
E.L. James, Fifty Shades Freed
For some, it’s words. For me, it’s likes. Be a good reader and tap the heart button 👇
Here’s to all the present day Jackie Collins–type writers on Substack 🥂