I've Lost My Mojo
🫦 Nine kisses 🧌 Dating Ogres 👨🍼 Dad vs Daddy
Hey Ivana Humpalot,
I’ve lost my mojo.
It went missing somewhere between dating Mr Nice (But Not Enough) and the three recently cancelled first dates. Dating takes effort, optimism, and a willingness to traipse through a sludgy quagmire and I’m in need of a hiatus. Again.
Don’t worry, this isn’t a depressive lament. I’m just waving the white flag. Too much trying without meaningful traction is the killer. I’ve become better at looking for someone to date than actually dating someone.
In 2023, I launched a social media series entitled “10 Dating Apps in 10 Weeks” - one app per week, documented in video diaries. I did it to make dating more entertaining for myself and others. It went well. While I only made it to week eight - exhaustion, again - it resulted in two delightful 6-week ‘ships (more than a situationship, less official than a relationship).
In 2024, back in Britain, I repeated the formula with dating events. I schlepped across London, trying everything from 10-minute speed dates to 3-hour supper clubs. More humans, actual conversations, but no sparks.
And really, that’s been the cycle for over a decade. Swiping in New York (an Olympic sport), scouting in Switzerland (beautiful scenery, zero ROI), hitting on men on sweaty Singaporean dance floors (still proud of that one!) The rhythm is a loop: I start earnestly, burn out eventually, retreat numbly, and then… repeat! An addict without ever getting a meaningful hit.
Which brings me to today: pausing and reflecting before cuffing season bewitches me again. Sure, it feels like I’m faltering, but actually the data says otherwise. Here’s the early release of my 2025 Spotify Dating Wrapped:
Apps used: 2
Events attended: 4
DM propositions declined: 579
Scheduled dates: 14
Cancelled first dates (by men): 5
Second dates: 1
Snogs: 9 (3 not worth repeating)
Sex: [redacted]
Executive summary: nine consecutive months of strong user engagement. Q4 outlook: bullish.
So, what’s next? Given I recently met 40 matchmakers, the plot line is obvious. In fact, I’ve already shared my bio with a 30-year veteran and am actively fielding questions about my degrees, French fluency, and appetite for relocating. Nothing concrete yet - but I’m sure it’ll be a great adventure (and fodder for this newsletter).
Until then, I’m staying off the apps and on the sofa with Austin Powers reruns. If he can get his mojo back, I can too. Yeah, baby!
With love & other rubbish,
Candice
…and other rubbish
Should you call dad or daddy?
Save this (in case you go to prison)
“That’s boring. Let’s touch our private parts.”
It feels inappropriate but I can’t look away
In honour of the women’s finals tomorrow - is it rugby or dating?
She said, he said
“Kissing a man with a beard is a lot like going to a picnic. You don’t mind going through a little bush to get there!”
Minnie Pearl
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