Love, Guaranteed
🧙🏻♀️ Voodoo Love 🦁 Taming Beasts 🎅🏻 Christmas Gifts
Hey Believer,
Call me woo woo but I did a tarot card reading for my love life (I can already hear your eyes rolling.)
But give me credit: you can’t fault a trier. I’ve tried everything else – apps, matchmakers, sticky eyes, shrekking (a new one for your dating dictionary), dancing naked under a waning moon while Sagittarius was rising…
So, yes, I wanted to see what was written in the stars. And like every rational thinker, I heralded the bits that were relatable and ignored anything that wasn’t.
The first card, representing my past, was the Four of Wands. Apparently it symbolises my ability to “revel in the delightful phase of dating and flirtation.” So true, dear cosmos, so true. I have been revelling. Over the last year, I’ve dated broadly, kissed selectively, and flirted forwardly. My enthusiasm for romantic revelry even led me to launch an entire Substack about dating. As far as tarot accuracy goes, card number one was bang on.
The second card represented the present: Strength. A lovely young woman gently taming a lion. Say no more. I am feminine, confident, and in possession of not-so-quiet authority. Where I took issue was the suggestion that the lion was neither aggressive nor threatening. Any lion is intimidating. And, lately, I suspect I am too…
Exhibit A: the last man I dated admitted he was anxious about my ‘experience’. Sure, he’s an outlier – his last first date was 20 years ago with his now ex-wife – but I understand the insecurity. I’ve gone on more dates this year than he has in his adult life. That skill gap can be confronting.
Exhibit B: my last five matches on a dating app cancelled our dates. Excuses have ranged from Fred’s “I’m juggling a lot and it wouldn’t be fair to you” to Ray’s “I’m closing my account” (he hasn’t). People are allowed to change their minds but five times in a row isn’t bad luck, it’s a pattern. I think I know the cause: they saw the Instagram advert I made for that very same dating app and feared being cast as the antagonist.
Which raises the question about whether it’s time for a recalibration. Has my willingness to publicly share my dating knowledge and experiences become my romantic downfall? Should I tame my inner lion and become a little more pussy(cat)?
Nope.
I’m not trying to be intimidating. I’m simply a woman who speaks openly about dating, while actively doing it. If anything, I’m efficient. My outspokenness weeds out incompatibility quickly. I appeal to men who are attracted – not threatened – by the opportunity to step into the ring.
So yes, tarot card number two also rings true. I am woman, hear me roar.
Which brings me to the final card: The future. The Eight of Swords. Bondage. Restriction. A woman trapped by her own feelings. I couldn’t figure out if this was about challenging my belief in happily-ever-after or pointing to a need to sever ties with emotionally unavailable men (for real, this time). Either way, it didn’t resonate. Singlehood is filled with highs, lows, and a whole lot of fatigue, but it’s not a trap. At nearly 40, I feel more sure of myself and less worried about finding love than ever before.
So, forgive me for taking you on a cosmic journey only to end with this: none of it matters.
Sure, I loved getting a tarot reading. I’ll happily dabble in rituals, symbols, and woo woo ideas for fun. But, when love finally arrives, it won’t be because the stars aligned or a lion was tamed. It’ll be because Mr. Right and I chose each other – consistently, intentionally, and with a hell of a lot of communication.
That won’t be fate. That’ll be me shouting from the rooftops “I finally found him.”
With love & other rubbish,
Candice
…and other rubbish
Be careful out there ladies
The perfect Christmas gift
Such an attention seeker
He did it for the birthday girl
Grab a cup of tea and listen to this
She said, he said
“Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.”
Groucho Marx
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