Cheating Out Loud
🪭 Naughty Fans 🦘 Australian Kisses 🤑 Rich Boys
Hey Honest Daters,
I’ve watched it on repeat.
The 3-second evolution from amorous embrace to deer-caught-in-head lights to panicked retreat.
I am, of course, talking about the Coldplay couple.
The two philandering colleagues whose affair got busted live on a jumbotron at a concert. Poor Chris Martin - the man who “consciously uncoupled” from Gwyneth Paltrow years ago - just unconsciously uncoupled two other people’s marriages in seconds.
“This is the single most mesmerising news story on the planet right now”, wrote one journalist. I agree. It’s got all the ingredients of a perfect screenplay:
A glorious fall from grace (with an alleged $60M net worth, it's hard to feel sorry for the poor rich man with a mistress)
A hefty dose of irony (an HR rep who gets caught red handed demonstrating her “deep expertise in talent management”? Hilarious.)
Surprise and delight (the surprise theirs, the delight very much ours).
I can’t stop watching the clip.
But let’s be real - this is hardly a new genre of entertainment. Cheating is one of our oldest plot lines.
Regardless of the trigger - disconnection, curiosity, rejection, loneliness - “infidelity has existed since marriage was invented.” Some even argue that cheating is simply a counter balance to the “unnatural” social construct of monogamy. With UK infidelity rates trending upwards of 35%, you have to wonder if the polyamorous, the polygamous, and the Bonnie Blues are onto something. Or does that kind of sexual freedom create unadulterated chaos?
Well, my university boyfriend cheated on me.
Kind of.
Rory had a habit of partying hard. In a stupor one evening, he ended up snogging another acquaintance on the dancefloor, while I stood oblivious, mere feet away. Shortly thereafter, his pals started gushing about how good I was for him, their compliments suspicious.
The next morning, while he groaned through his hangover, I brought up his friends’ effusiveness. He quietened. I clocked. He confessed, apologized, and sheepishly suggested that he should leave.
Nope.
First of all, I wanted to talk about it. We needed to discuss his commitment to me as much as his consumption habits. Secondly, knowledge is power. When duplicity happens it means information is one-sided. I needed to level the field before making any conclusions. Ultimately, I chose to see it as fleeting foolishness, not betrayal.
I get it, forgiving a uni boyfriend for a sloppy snog is not the same as forgiving a spouse for a full-blown affair. But it gets at something deeper.
When it comes to cheating, it’s not just the act that does the damage - it’s the accompanying silence. Not voicing needs and desires (in and out of the relationship) quietly erodes respect, trust, and honesty. That’s what we saw on the Coldplay couple’s faces: dishonesty caught in the spotlight. The reality of their misbehavior was illuminated to their embarrassment (and our entertainment).
So, what’s the answer? Open marriages, honest affairs, polyamorous living… I’m not sure. I’ll get back to you once I lock into a serious relationship.
In the meantime, I hope that Coldplay releases a follow up track to “Fix You” entitled “Fix Us.”
With love & other rubbish,
Candice
Dating Richie Rich
I went on a date with a wealthy man. He didn’t outright admit it, but the signs were there. The watch. The champagne-fuelled photos in the middle of a workday. The story about the private island (still suspicious). And yet, there he was, lamenting about all the money-grabbing women he attracts. Dear Sir, don’t wear tight trousers if you don’t want your wallet to bulge.
Ah, the matter of money. A classically un-British topic of discussion, stifled further by romance. How many dates does it take before you start talking about money? Do you split the bills equally or equitably? The New York Times has tackled the topic...
Take Blessing Akinsilo. She thought she was connecting with her struggling actor date, until she admitted to her six-figure student debt.
“His face twisted in surprise. Ten minutes later, they were splitting the check and saying awkward goodbyes.”
In contrast, Dave Powell waited until things got serious with Lori before confessing to his $15k credit card debt. She was surprised, but didn’t see it as a dealbreaker. In fact, she paid it off, right before they got married. (Spoiler: 30 years later, it turned out to be a solid investment.)
As for me, men, and money: Yes, it’s fun to date someone with cash to flash, but it’s not a requirement. We just need to talk about it. Especially because the only time my face should “twist in surprise” should be in bed, not at the bank.
…and other rubbish
Ever had an “Australian Kiss”?
The 7-day guide to a situationship summer
Can you spot what’s wrong?
Poor guys are great in bed. It’s called “futon dick”
The exhaustion of being single
She said, he said
“I know all about cheating. I've had six very successful marriages.”
Bobby Heenan